- I'd like people to understand how much my anxiety affects my life in a lot of different ways that don't seem obvious. There's a lot of overthinking, and a lot of little things can just make me feel really anxious really bad. And it's often stuff that people haven't done purposely, it's just me and how I guess my brain perceives the world. I think I perceive it in a quite emotional way, and... I'm just really quite an anxious person. I try to hide it, to try a lot of things in a lot of different ways, especially on my insecurities. Like my hands shake all the time and I really am quite insecure about it, so I like to use my hands a lot when I'm talking, to make them always moving so people can't see it and can't think about it and judge it, so I don't get insecure and anxious about it...
- What would you like from people who might misunderstand this anxiety? Like, what reaction would make you more comfortable, I guess?
- Well, one thing that I'm very bad with is text messages, responding to people online, it gives me a lot of anxiety, especially because I have to be in the right mindset, and often it leads to me not responding for quite a while and I get even more anxious because « Oh my God I have not responded in a week! » and then... it is rude, I should respond, but I'm just very scared that I'll respond and then they'll be very annoyed with me, very upset with me, or very sad and I obviously don't want to cause any of this, so... some patience... more patience from other people?
- Does it also mean that perhaps they should adjust the way to communicate with you and give you a phone call rather than texting?
- Yes, that's a good example, because a few times there's been people who have been annoyed by me, completely understandably, and then I've not been able to adapt to their way, I'm much more of an "in person" type of person.